Serving God: For Me or For Him?

Posted on February 14, 2010 by Brittany

In 1965, The Rolling Stones sang a song that said, “I can’t get no satisfaction, though I try, and I try, and I try.” Depressing? Of course, they’re rock stars; they don’t have the fulfillment of living for a purpose or cause bigger than themselves. They live a morbid, selfish, shallow existence. So… Why is it, then, that believers in Jesus Christ, even those in ministry, deal with the same feelings of emptiness, loneliness, pain, and frustration?

That’s a good question.

As Christians, aren’t we supposed to be living satisfied lives brimming with joy and purpose? Isn’t this the Christian generation of Purpose Driven Life? What about Pentecostal prosperity and the pursuit of Your Best Life Now? We grow up in church, go to a Christian college, graduate with big dreams, find a lucrative job with a high-dollar salary, get married, have children, and teach Sunday school or get involved in other church ministries.  This should be enough.  So what’s wrong? Hello, Rolling Stones!… most of us aren’t satisfied either!

Here’s a simple question: Is Christianity as a religion, reasonable?  One wouldhave to say yes under certain cultural conditions. It has its social benefits in this country.  It fills a need for understanding in the same way that all religions do. We have our traditions and our services and our faith, and these all help make the world a happier place in which to live. So, in this respect, serving God is reasonable.

However, what happens when, like in the book of Job, you lose everything? (I was reading Job today… so now you know where all this reflection came from) What about Christians who are persecuted for what they believe? How do you explain to a Christian friend why their son or daughter has a sexually transmitted disease or why they are dealing with bankruptcy or cancer when they have given of themselves for Christ’s sake? The answer has been around for a while but it doesn’t make it any easier to communicate.

Pleasing God does not mean your life will be free of trouble. In fact, far from it! If you choose to please God, it’s the tougher road. Peachy and Pollyanna perfect are descriptions sometimes associated with Christian life when, in fact, the opposite is often true. In her fiction book, Soulforge, Margaret Weis uses a description that could very aptly depict the Christian life: “You choose to go voluntarily into the fire. The blaze might well destroy you. But in surviving, every blow of the hammer will serve to shape your being. Every drop of water wrung from you will temper and strengthen your soul.” It’s called testing. (Like in I Corinthians 10:13) It gages your level of learning and can be passed (about as easily as a kidney stone sometimes). No one likes tests.

As a personal example, thinking about this has not been emotionally easy because my parents who have been in pastoral and evangelistic ministry since I was a child are dealing with overwhelming pain and frustration even as I write. Why? is a question they ask continually. If all we want to do is serve you, why would you allow us to go through all of this? Sometimes it’s an incredibly lonely place where no one seems to have any comprehension of what we’re going through. Sometimes all I can do is cry with my parents and try to be supportive. There have been moments when the pious programmed responses of brothers and sisters in Christ grate on me like fingernails on a chalk-board.  Yes, I have heard countless times the common Christian mantra that says living for Jesus makes life good and that you must be missing something if you are not feeling fulfilled. If you’re a Christian and you’re not feeling happy and fulfilled, don’t worry; that just means you’re human like the rest of us.

In Larry Crabb’s article, On the Occasion of a Friend’s Retreat into Sin, he says that a prevailing heresy in our evangelical culture is the idea “that living for Jesus reliably provides the soul with a depth of satisfaction that exceeds the satisfaction found in sin.” If this is, indeed, what Christians in this country live for, they won’t achieve it! Ultimately, in the case of my parents, I’ve realized that they’re not ministering with the intention or goal of fulfilling their own personal desires; if they were, they would have left ministry years ago. They serve out of faithfulness and a committed relationship to the Lord.  It has been an incredible example for me, my brothers, and sister.

According to Ted Dekker, in his book The Slumber of Christianity, “Theincomparable great power we have as believers is tied up in hope; lose the hope and you lose the power.” This is where our answer lies. Our hope can’t be in doing everything according to “God’s will” because perfection in that area is humanly impossible; we can’t hope in ministry and accomplishing great things for God or we’ll be ripe candidates for burn-out; our hope has to originate from the unconditional, unfathomable, and deep love God has for us. Our roots need to be grounded in that relationship over all others. Yes, he’s the Creator of the Universe, the One whose words became reality, but He’s also my Daddy.

The relationship we can have with God today as opposed to the way things were in Job’s day are vastly different. We don’t have to make daily or weekly sacrifices for our sins but we do have to be willing to sacrifice our desires, our drive for fulfillment, and our preconceived notions concerning cushy Christian living. “In this world, you’re going to have trouble but take heart (hope!) because I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33)

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Fact Check?

Posted on February 12, 2010 by Brittany

When I was a teenager, it was my dream to be a journalist. No fluffy, kids stuff for me. No self-proclaimed green-movement mumbo-jumbo either.  I’d planned for years that I’d be a tough, hard-hitting, Lois Lane type, writing Pulitzer-prize-winning articles exposing 

corruption so justice would prevail!  With that direction in sight, I started working as a reporter for my city newspaper while I was still under 20.  My life is very different now from what it was then but, for a time, I did the reporter thing, dressed in the cute little black heels and skirt suit, and even had those “inside sources” every movie reporter needs to get a juicy scoop.  Even still, all the movies I’d ever seen could never have prepared me to choose the right sources, words, and angles. I did well by the world’s standard but the world’s standard isn’t necessarily right, is it?

The biggest, most in-depth story of my brief, 3-year career in that field was also my last and centered around a piece of vacant real estate that used to be occupied by Total XPosure, a strip club that was closed down because of a prostitution bust a couple years prior. The property was auctioned off and the owner was “run out of town” essentially by zoning laws that prevented him from ever building or owning another establishment in Miami County.  The abandoned property was a prime lot with visibility right off the interstate and, even to this day has a For Sale sign plastered across the side. [And my life comes full-circle here: my family helped a local church by doing a concert on a flatbed  truck for people picketing the club’s opening back when I was 12 or 13 years old…  interesting twist] I did a lot of digging and discovered that this auctioned eye-sore became an acquisition of a real-estate investment group from Cincinnati.  The group had invested heavily in other ventures by the same slick Dayton area Club-Mogul that had established Total XPosure.  The Greek club owner wasn’t supposed to have any control over this particular property anymore but the investment group connection proved that he still had some stake in it (even if it was just a holding for the sake of his pride).

It was in the process of all of this that I started learning more and more about the club scene in Dayton. When I published my story on the Total XPosure property, our recently elected mayor, RhineMcClin, was being lauded for her extensive work in rebuilding Dayton by establishing new zoning laws that encouraged growth.  One new business, a glamorous looking “alternative” nightclub with hundreds of LED screens, light panels, and high-end marble flooring had recently replaced El Diablo lounge downtown. The door assistant had no problem bragging to me that the Mayor had private parties in the club’s VIP room every week. More digging turned up city documents mapping zoning changes in favor of the real-estate investment group out of Cincinnati in addition to the unopened issue of the Mayor’s “alternative” lifestyle. The story was starting to bleed back-door business deals when I started getting calls from the club-mogul’s lawyer… at my house. I wanted to break the thing wide open in gory detail and was absolutely dizzy with excitement over how much this was like everything I ever saw in the movies! Then, as so often happens, I started thinking about the bigger picture (in part because my mom REALLY didn’t like the direction any of this was going and my family was seeing and experiencing almost everything I was). I realized my focus as a reporter was always on finding trash, digging up as much of it as I could; writing about that was foundational to everything that ran front page.

I think it was Teddy Roosevelt in the 1900s that did a speech on the “Muckraking” of then-modern media sources.  This idea of publicizing scum became a new thought for me and one of, I believe, even more social significance than we realize. At the time, I’d been thinking it was a more valuable commodity in the information era to simply get “the truth” out and into people’s hands than to hold up anything positive or encouraging. “True journalism isn’t about the spin, it’s about the facts,” I thought. What a ridiculous little idealist I was fishing through the dumpster for my fact foundation. Edward R. Murrow was my hero because of his straight-forward reporting without bias. An irreconcilable concept, I now understand. Even the choices we make in what facts we highlight and what stories we publish shows bias and has the potential to vitiate people’s grasp of the truth.  My questions became even more personally significant when I started to study at Cedarville University. How much was I willing to invest in a life that could drag me down emotionally over time? There’s no question our most prominent media is focused on negative news and facts. I’d be steeped in it.

So I was thinking about some of this before I actually wrote a follow-up piece on the Total X property. It was an “Oh crap!” moment when I read Philippians 4:8. It’s that verse with a list of what you’re supposed to be thinking about.  “Whatever’s noble, whatever’s right, whatever’s pure… etc.” So I got the message but didn’t know what to do with it.

It took weeks of processing to make the paradigm shift mid-tango but it was a necessary part of growing up for me.  Here I’d been gunning for a mark that was in a completely different field from the one I needed to be shooting for. There’s some positive journalism out there but I honestly didn’t want that.  All I could envision was some cluttered, claustrophobic cubicle in a back office at the Christian Broadcasting Network or something. *shudder* Some of us just itch with irritation at the mere thought of blah-ness. If you don’t understand the feeling I’m describing here, imagine hundreds of pesky mosquitoes coming and going, sucking your life away from you because you’ve been sitting in the backyard for too long and either don’t see them or care enough to move. But I digress…

I made the choice not to run the follow-up story and resigned at the newspaper. I devoted four years to studying communication at Cedarville University and learned what I loved… how people think and respond to messages and how to study the Bible. Both are the most critical relationships we ever develop. I will always be a writer and journalist but it’s amazing how many choices fall under that heading. Making the right choice, one you can live with for your whole life, isn’t easy and requires a dependable resource as foundation. This is pivotal. If one little verse can change the way you think (as it should if you claim Christ), imagine how powerful the rest of those words can be.

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Hello Time and Imagination… Goodbye Fakebook

Posted on February 5, 2010 by Brittany
I’ve not been writing as often these days. My personal reflections have been kept… well… personal. I still write in my journal but rarely find time. Life is busy and full of distractions, especially if we want it to be. I think we like to forget how to feel and think deeply and to be dulled by the constant drum of hour by hour activities. The older we get the more complicated our responsibilities and relationships become. It’s a frustrating and often overwhelming part of being an adult. I hate being “an adult”! When did this happen and how can I make it stop?!
This post is, I hope, the beginning of a blessed renaissance. I dumped facebook two days ago. And I say GOOD RIDDANCE! The “dumping” happened because the social networking site really becomes like a bad relationship to those of us who care what people we used to know and see regularly are doing. I found that a majority of the time it is either too seriously taken (to the point of near obsession by narcissists with 2000 pictures or stalkers) OR people don’t care at all and won’t even respond to serious questions you ask. I think I fit in-between, maybe drifting to one side or another at certain times, enough to recognize both sides and feel annoyed at the pointless waste. There are a few people overseas that I enjoyed keeping up with but the time for that has come and gone as well. The medium isn’t deep and hardly makes a difference in how close I feel to that person. It’s amazing how much saying goodbye to “fake”book freed my imagination. If I’m lucky, no one will know that I’m gone. Shh…
I’ve been concerned a great deal by what’s going on in my world, especially after having seen so much of it this year. In the past 4 months, I’ve been out of the country twice for 2 and half months total, been in 6 different countries of Asia, two of which were communist controlled, one a Muslim republic. I’ve been thinking a great deal and the Lord has been teaching me BOATLOADS in the process. I turn 26 in two days and still feel like a child. That can be an insecure feeling unless I’ve got the right perspective. I’m grateful if I can trust Jesus like a child because this is what is required of me above everything else. Maybe some shared experiences can make you feel like you’re not alone in seeking what’s right. As believers in Jesus Christ, we’ve got a lot of work to do. Our time is short. It’s time to put some more thoughts on the record.
That being said, I’m stuck on II Timothy 2:3-4 right now. It’s edgy. And it certainly doesn’t fit the Christian-bandwagon, pious primadonna, Joel Osteen “Your Best Life Now” prosperity junk. I love a good head check. We should do this more often.
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New Moon… Who’s Biting?

Posted on November 22, 2009 by Brittany

A juicy apple, a blood-red rose… that beautiful fallen angel begs you don’t walk away, claiming “I won’t bite.” Sounds harmless and everyone loves to be entertained by a mystery. He’s wistful, quiet, wears a riddle in his half-smile and piques a girl’s curiosity with only a slight movement of his left eyebrow.  His image haunts her dreams with whispered promises of love possessing her in the dark. With barely a look, he creates a conundrum in your mind. It’s the classic forbidden love and even Christian girls are being seduced by the sexy, silver-tongued serpent.

Who’s biting?

We are.

I’ll confess I have a difficult time understanding (In college, we’re taught critical thinking so please bear with me… I’m questioning here). How can anyone claiming to love the radiant light of Jesus Christ be so fascinated by anything so dark and occult as the stories of vampires? If you’ve fallen in-love with the Twilight Series (movies or books), you may feel some pricks of indignation at that question, thinking “hey now, wait a minute. In these stories the vampire is different; he’s trying to protect the girl he loves! Not to mention, he’s sweet and sensitive.” It’s a unique twist on vampires, I agree, but the underlying concept is the same as it has always been. Vampires glorify the violent domination of women ESPECIALLY in sex. The fact that these stories are now aimed at teen and preteen girls who are drooling over an encounter like this is beyond frightening (for their sakes!).

The Bible says that Satan comes dressed as a prince of light… he’s drop-dead gorgeous (forgive the expression).  Get a hunky actor playing a demon and you’re rooting for the girl to turn. Even in the Twilight series, the girl wants to join the vampire in HIS world. He can’t become like her but they’re in-lust and want to be together. So what are we seeing romanticized in these stories? And is it junk food or veggies we’re feeding our minds here?

I know its standard procedure to go into a movie, take it at face value, and leave a little more entertained than you were before you spent the eight bucks but I still can’t help feeling like throwing up when another Satanic agenda is being crammed down my throat. As a girl who loves and follows Jesus Christ and studies everything spiritual, I can’t blindly ignore these things when they are so obviously spiritual in nature already. Can anyone really believe that these are just harmless, meaningless depictions of fantasy beings? If they were, I’d be the first one in the car on opening night. But when it’s about a creature whose rendering is beautiful and alluring but has the capacity and desire to suck the blood of human beings, I can’t passively consume that. (The life is in the blood- Lev. 17:14… that’s why Jesus’ death is significant to us).

If you’re a girl (or guy) that loves the Twilight series and you know I’m aware you’re a fan, please don’t take offense or feel like I’m pointing a judgmental finger. You have a right to choose where you stand but please DO understand that these kinds of media portrayals are battle lines.  We can’t afford to shut off our brains when the stakes are so high.

Yes, make-believe is just “playing pretend” (in theory) but even a fantasy is a mirror of reality. If I have an appetite for even a reflection of evil, what does that say about who I am and who I serve?

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