I See Dead People

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Brittany

According to Charles Finney, an evangelist of the Second Great Awakening, “Revival is a renewed conviction of sin and repentance, followed by an intense desire to live in obedience to God. It is giving up one’s will to God in deep humility.” Although Finney’s formula for revival may sound simple it is often difficult to put into practice. A. W. Tozer, a CMA pastor and novelist, felt that “the average Christian is so cold and contented with his wretched condition that there is no vacuum of desire into which the Spirit can rush in satisfying fullness.” Christians have a stigma to battle; we are often classified as stuffy, legalistic, uptight “fundamentalists” without warmth, passion, or vibrance. If we have any desire to have an impact on our world, we will have to extend ourselves beyond our comfort zone to tangibly demonstrate God’s love, compassion, joy, and convictions based on Biblical Truth!

We’re surrounded by churches here in the United States. Our communities are speckled with multiple buildings representing numerous denominations.  We say we’re Christian and we go to church or mass but we live in a day when simply showing up one day a week to learn about the Lord is not enough. We can follow the rules perfectly and mimic all the Christian verbiage but unless God gets a hold of our hearts and quickens our convictions, we will be ineffective as spiritual leaders for this desperate generation. It has to be real.

Studying at a public school before attending Cedarville University gave me a unique perspective on my faith in Jesus Christ.  A few years ago, a movie was released in which an innocent young boy claimed to see dead people. “They don’t know they’re dead,” he said — Walking through the halls on campus at a secular institution was like wandering through a morgue. It stirs you inside when you realize that so many people are spiritually dead and going to hell; your responses to those people change dramatically! The sense of urgency you feel to express God’s love is overwhelming! It comes to a point where you no longer care what people think of you or how they treat you as long as they come to understand the Truth and have an opportunity to accept it.

As believers we should be openly expressive about what we know to be true. In times of worship, we should be willing to praise God with total abandon. Anyone who has ever been in-love can tell you how a passionate relationship wakes you up inside; it is as if you were not alive until you met that special person. This is only a fraction of the excitement we ought to feel about Jesus Christ!

We all know people who get so passionate about the Superbowl or other sports events that they jump up and down and yell at the top of their lungs when their team receives a point; there are others who behave much the same way for hours at a rock concert. However, many of these same people show little or no emotion in worshipping God and can’t bring themselves to make a bold statement of faith. This doesn’t make sense! There is nothing private or reserved about our faith. God’s people should be extreme the most vocal about who we are and what we believe. It’s only pride and fear that restrains us from boldly “coming out of the closet!”

Are you living in a state of complacency or are you passionate and convicted about God’s Truth and salvation? Are you willing to be absolutely sold out for Jesus, not worried about what anyone else thinks? He wasn’t concerned about what people thought when He hung on that cross out of love for you! As you look toward tomorrow (See You at the Pole 2011) and the school year still ahead, make God the central focus of your life. Cultivate a deep love-relationship with Jesus and don’t be afraid to tell others what He has done for you.

II Timothy 1:7-8 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So you must never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord.”

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Transformed

Posted on August 24, 2011 by Brittany

I can’t believe what a miracle it is that people are still visiting this blog every day! Can we view my irregular posting habits as evidence of positive character traits like self-respect, feeling of responsibility, and pride (or not). The truth is, by the time I’ve finished with all the other priorities on any given day, I’ve barely been able to put two grammatically correct sentences together, let alone write anything of value.  My brother calls it a “word quota”; meaning that by the end of the day, if you’ve used up your word allowance in a 24-hour cycle, you can’t effectively speak anymore.  He used to tell me on the drive home from college that he’d used up his word quota for the day. The problem is, I didn’t think I had this limitation.  So, either I’m more introverted these days than I was or God is doing too much now to adequately describe in words. As Job puts it, “This is just the beginning of all that he does, merely a whisper of his power.  Who, then, can comprehend the thunder of his power?” (Job 26:14)

The events of the past two months have my head in a tornado and my adrenaline pumping non-stop (as if trips back-and-forth to Asia wasn’t doing that already).  Life has been a dead run with a few surprise obstacles thrown in the path every few steps and no immediate finish line in view. Upon returning to the United States this summer from two months in Vietnam, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and Indonesia, my parents were receiving disturbing news from the church where my dad grew up, the same church my grandpa pastored for 40 years before he retired.  The new pastor was trying to sell the building and close the church this year! Long-time family friends were calling us immediately when we got home from Asia; the phone lines burned for a couple weeks with, not only troubling information, but cries for help. Many of the older people of the church have been like grandparents to me since I was a baby and most have been to every important event in the life of my family, including my parents’ wedding 29 years ago.  We prayed and asked God for wisdom as we loving spoke with people day after day, even while we toured the east coast Vietnamese churches and camps early in the summer. Finally, my dad met with friends from the church to pray and offered that our family would help in whatever way the people wanted or needed.

Flash-forward to the present, the former pastor stepped-down, and operation church resuscitation began.  Our family’s involvement in a ministry needing critical-care obviously wasn’t on our bucket list but it consumed every second of our summer.  We’re not receiving financial compensation but the spiritual rewards have far surpassed any remuneration we could have hoped for. My dad has been the acting senior and music pastor, Brook and Bryson have been heading up the new children’s program, my mom teaches Foundations of Family on Sundays, and Brent and I have taken on TNT (Truth & Transformation) youth and 20-somethings.  We’ve had one-to-three events per week, baseball games, youth lock-ins, movies, kids clubs, youth camp, cook-outs, outreaches, concerts, theme parks, etc. It has been a marathon. In addition, all the church’s old publicity materials have been thrown out and I’ve had a plate full of graphic overhaul projects, putting the real mission and hope of the church on paper in living color.

We’ve seen dramatic transformation at First Grace, beginning with the mindset of the formerly “dying” church.  They’d been fed poison for so long that they had actually begun to believe they were dying; it was a message straight from hell (like the burgers I talk about here). Praise God He’s still all about miracles. In two months time, First Grace has become a growing church exploding with powerful vision (“beauty from ashes” Isaiah 61:3).  New believers have accepted Christ at an altar that was empty for 10 years; half of the youth group was baptized two weeks ago; and the children and youth ministry have grown 100%. Hope carries in the air around this place like the scent of spring and sunshine every Sunday as the littlest children of the church stand by the door and greet grandmas and grandpas with warm hugs and handshakes.  Two months ago, no one would have believed this was even possible. I have so many wonderful memories of this church from when I was really young; it’s been amazing to see those memories come to life again as if no time has passed.

Although the positive aspects of this summer have outnumbered the negatives 10 to 1, the same question has been put to us a hundred times in the past two months; will we be staying at First Grace? It was difficult to know how to answer at first. We’re very attached and obviously very involved in everything here but we also have responsibilities overseas. We’re booked for two months in Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam, and Singapore this coming October and November.  So the question we’ve been asking God every day is “can we do both?”

It’s been amazing to watch God answer our prayers by bringing teammates alongside us that share our hearts and vision in a BIG way.  There’s also potential for more this coming week.  I’ll be making a trip to a local Christian University to interview pastoral interns. We’re in deep and sometimes we don’t get enough sleep because our contacts in Asia require communication during the night even while we’re busy preparing for the next outreach at First Grace during the day.  We’ve had some tense moments but we live for this; the ministry opportunities continue to come like a flood. In spite of it all, we can hardly believe how clearly God has orchestrated every move we’ve made. It’s been like a complicated dance choreographed by Tyce Diorio. Difficulty level: 10.

How do you know if something is God’s will for your life?  You know it’s God’s will when it’s not yours. If you’re stretched to the breaking point because you’re doing what you know is right, “wait on the Lord” a little bit longer, like a friend waits on the pace of their running partner.  God has promised renewed strength, a soaring second wind, and razor-sharp wisdom as the reward for enduring the experience alongside Him.  (Isaiah 40:31) Any runner will tell you, unless you keep running, even though you’re exhausted, you’re not really living.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Truth & Burgers

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Brittany

“Everyone else has to be better off than me…”

He stood next to his car, fishing his keys out of his pocket, and eventually jammed one into the door with a sharp twist. “It’s classic nothingness, a massive stomach-ache of stupidity and half-truths,” he said; “I hate my life.” Whoever was on the other end of that phone had either called at the wrong time or answered at the wrong time. I didn’t envy the poor listener one bit.

I wasn’t intentionally eavesdropping. I was just standing there. The guy’s rant was unusually eloquent for 8 o’clock in the morning. My memory isn’t perfect but the general gist of this particular conversation wasn’t lost on me. Something about the whole scenario seemed vaguely familiar.

Was it the tone or the words? Perhaps it was the mood of the speaker. Maybe it’s all of the above but one thing is for sure; I’ve been on the other end of that same phone call numerous times. The depressed mess of a message has been left on my voicemail in at least 20 different voices. “Meaningless, nothingness, life stinks, I never get what I need, I don’t know what to do…  call me back?”

It’s easy to wallow in self-pity if the physical world is all we see. We’re looking for something different but whatever we’re looking for, we’re not getting.  A five minute glimpse at a television talk show in a waiting room confirms the sad fact. We’re all sick and losing it. At least those women who have 3 children by 4 different men are being honest. We still appreciate that truthfulness, don’t we?

We’ve heard it all before. “That’s life,” some people say.

That’s death actually. Even though accepting junk is normal, it’s killing us. Just like those big, greasy burgers we like to eat at the local fast food joint. Swallowing a couple of them won’t put you in the hospital but eat a burger or two every day and you might want to call the ambulance while you’re at it.

How about swallowing the vein-clogging honesty of daily depression or bad habits?  Does anyone feel more trusting of that wonderfully honest person who is willing to shamelessly feed you their morbid feelings or slimy, dysfunctional lifestyle? If you don’t like it and have the gall to express your distaste, you’re considered judgmental. After all, they’re just being honest.

The unfortunate property of language is that a word commonly used has the tendency to change in perceived meaning over time. Case in point: Truth. People don’t know what the word “Truth” means anymore. In fact, Truth has been totally twisted to mean the opposite of what it actually is.

Every new generation has to produce a vocal visionary to defend the accurate interpretation of pet issues of their day. In the last generation, C.S. Lewis felt the need to defend miracles. I often wish we had a C.S. Lewis today to defend Truth; I’d welcome that miracle.  Our current liberal media has such a limited, unhealthy perspective on the subject.

If I were to set the record straight in one line, it would be this: “Truth” doesn’t describe the way things ARE, Truth is a term describing the way things SHOULD BE.

“The Truth will set you free” is from John 8 and comes with a fantastic context. The context is rarely quoted but here it is in the words of Jesus: “If you hold to my teachings you are really my disciples. Then you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.”

Jesus is His teaching. His teaching is the Truth. He is the Truth. He is the way things should be.  That’s what will set you free. So, who’s being honest here?  Jesus made the world. He made it to work perfectly. We helped to make it a mess. Our destructive habits put us where we are – and it’s not the way the world works; it’s the reason it doesn’t work. Therefore, unless we’re holding up the Truth, we’re the liars.

Posted in Renewed Thinking | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Jet-Fueled Faith

Posted on March 28, 2011 by Brittany

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is full of fun and surprises.  It’s a melting pot of cultures and people from Asia much like the U.S. is for the Americas.  My family has had a jam-packed schedule since we arrived here with enough to keep us busy every hour of the day.  In a few days we leave for Kota Bharu in the north of Malaysia for a businessmen’s banquet much like the many banquets we’ve been doing here in KL. Businessmen are often incredibly successful in money matters but family is a challenge.  We’re here to encourage the balance they need to make their families strong. Hundreds have already received freedom and balance that only comes through Jesus Christ.

We made a trip up the Petronas Towers this past week and caught a view of the city like none other.  Petronas is an Islamic oil company over here that endeavored to build the tallest building in the world. They were successful until Taipei 101 was built shortly thereafter (just a little fact for my fact-loving readers).  In the towers, I was amazed to see that a butterfly was flying against the window all the way up there. How it got there, I have no idea but it was just as much a novelty to me as the city view.  The fun touristy stuff we did with a group of new friends from Australia and a girlfriend visiting us from Hong Kong.  As of right now, we’ll be with our new friends from Australia again in Surfer’s Paradise on the Gold Coast for several concerts in September.  Our schedule for the fall has gotten tighter since we arrived in Asia three weeks ago. We’ll be back in Malaysia when we come back later this year, Singapore, Indonesia, and Vietnam also.  At the close of 2011, we will have barely been home in 12 months. The mere fact that we’re in Kuala Lumpur for the third time in a little more than a year is a miracle in itself.

Our trip to the Petronas Towers got me thinking.  Just like the airplane that got us here and the business that built Petronas, neither would have gotten two inches off the ground without fuel.  In the same way, my family wouldn’t be here experiencing the miracles we’re watching unfold without faith. It’s the jet fuel for spiritual movement.  I’ve also realized what a major transformation it requires in one’s heart and mind to be able to operate at this kind of “high speed.” Whether you’re at home, surrounded by comfortable accomodations and people you understand or popping in and out of countries that you’ve never seen before and know little about, faith is a kind of flexibility and trusting that God has the answers you don’t and control of what you can’t manage. Sometimes we just have to do what God tells us to do, even if it’s tough and requires a lot of discomfort or inconvenience to us (which will be most of the time).

“I’m just not comfortable with that” is a lame reason for lack of action. In fact, we should be worried about where we’re headed spiritually if we’re not uncomfortable. Operate only within comfort and you WILL miss the best destiny you could ever have for your life.

This has come clearer to me since we left the U.S. a few weeks back. I was in shock this weekend when we shared with a group of 3,000 people here in Malaysia about good choices and choosing innocence, how open they were to a very pointed, very in-your-face message from my family.  Usually, we’re bold but gracious in stating standards over here because the people value gracious speech and accommodating gestures.  Following the earthquakes, however (the one in Japan and Myanmar), our feelings of urgency quadrupled concerning the importance of shaking people up on the inside so that when the world outside falls apart (and it will) people have hope they can hold onto and a source of answers.  NOW is the time to live like the new creation God wants us to be. A big part of our faith in Jesus Christ is simply learning to get over ourselves and our own ideas about what’s best for us.  Quite frankly, we don’t know what’s best for us until we follow Romans 12:1 and initiate some serious transformation.  It’s time to get uncomfortable and make some changes.

This has become increasingly the story of my family’s life. First of all, international travel is NOT a walk on the beach. It’s a privilege but, as is always the case, with every honor comes responsibility. The greater the honor, the greater the responsibility.  Secondly, if you take the responsibility seriously, it’s just plain humbling because one can not and should never feel like they deserve either the responsibility OR the privilege.  I’ve talked to women in Burkas this week, worn a new set of Indian clothes that would look bizarre if I ever tried to wear them in the U.S., been invited to stay with a couple in Iran, and told thousands of people to clean out their video cabinets and music libraries and start meditating on “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is righteous, whatever is pure…” The intensely self-aware, people-fearing girl I was a few years ago would have been freaked out by all that has become common-place to me now.

When God talks about us becoming a “new creation” in Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 5:17),  I’m reminded of the butterfly in the window of the Petronas Towers 40 stories up.  The transformation a butterfly undergoes in its lifetime isn’t just awesome; it’s beautiful -phase two of life for them is better than phase one as a worm.  This is what we need. Not a different hairstyle, different clothes, or a change of scenery but a change from the inside out – attitudes, beliefs about ourselves and our relationships, our way of talking, dressing, and living confidently for a purpose that’s way bigger than us. That butterfly couldn’t have crawled up 40 stories as a worm in one lifetime; it requires wings.

The only way we get the wings or jet propulsion to achieve anything of value with our lives is to die to our own selfish desires and live in total trust of Jesus Christ. It’s not an easy way to live but my family wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?… In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James 2:14-17

Posted in Renewed Thinking, Travel Journal | 6 Comments

Time & Earthquakes

Posted on March 8, 2011 by Brittany

Another 2 months abroad – and the adventure begins tomorrow!  Oddly enough, it still feels like I only just returned home to the United States. My family barely made it back from Vietnam this December to celebrate the new year.  The weight of gravity doubled over the hazy miles back and, for a few days, the new year was no more important to us than the unpacked suitcases or week of unanswered emails and voice messages. We celebrated pleasurably in soft piles of pillows, dead to the world. Then, almost overnight, our schedule in Asia booked itself solidly through May and our schedule in the U.S. after that.  It’s an exciting, eventful time of life.  Isn’t time a funny, conflicted fellow? It’s difficult to know sometimes if he’s helping us along with all we want to accomplish in life or if he’s snapping at our heals like Peter Pan’s hungry, ticking crocodile.

Considering the fact that I said goodbye to all my friends yesterday and I’m saying farewell to the U.S. tomorrow, I realize that time is deeply precious when we’re happy, enjoying memories with the people we love. At other moments, however, it seems like a tragic curse separating us from all that used to make us smile or could make us smile again.  We can always count on change (and I’m not referring to nickels and quarters).

There’s an old British cliche that says Time waits for no man, (as in “no one is powerful enough to control time”). Time does, however, have the potential to serve instead of abuse us, if we can remember the key to our mastery of it.

1 “There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

11 He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”(Ecclesiastes 3)

This is an old poem and tough to interpret but the perspective has been priceless to me. If we can get the full impact of the wisdom encapsulated here, time will be a refreshing daily bath like the proverbial fountain of youth.  When is it that we age the most?  During heavy responsibility or crisis perhaps?  Those are the best opportunities to seek time-proven wisdom, wouldn’t you say?

In recent history, the small nation of Haiti endured a devastating earthquake ranked 7.0 on the Richter Scale.  Millions of dollars and expeditions continue to pour across the ocean into this little island disaster site and, over a year later, the landscape has barely improved. Ecclesiastes says “There’s a time for everything” but how is this beautiful?  Is time whipping the Haitians or is there more going on down there?

CNN, Fox News, CBN, and NBC all reported different angles of the same amazing phenomenon in post-earthquake Haiti.  According to Haitian Pastor Chavannes Jeunes in an interview with CBN, “The impact has been devastating, yet we see signs of hope springing up.” Herode Guilomettre, an influential Haitian businessman said, “There’s a kind of spiritual transformation unfolding. In the entire tent camps and shelters people are spontaneously worshipping God, they are singing, they are praying. And this has been happening almost every night since the earthquake.”

In my recent personal history, another kind of earthquake occurred.  Brought on by one unlikely, negative friendship but followed by months of trials and questioning that increased in intensity; everything I’d been standing on emotionally and spiritually was mercilessly tossed and the sky could have just as easily been the ground to my weightless judgment.  That experience is a reminder to me now of what my life could have been.

There isn’t one person in the world who doesn’t have an earthquake experience at some point in their life. It’s a hopeless, helpless feeling when we simply have one choice: what do I hold onto?  Hold onto possessions and you’re thrown; an idea and you skid out of control; a habitual way of doing things or even another person and you’re cast violently down a never ending sinkhole, unable to ever right yourself.  The description may sound overly sensational but the feelings are rarely less than traumatic.

We’re ultimately responsible for what we do in times of crisis – even if we’re just responding. Who you really are inside comes to the surface when everything goes wrong. For me, had I not begged God for wisdom, loved even when I was hurting, and had an all-out spiritual revival, I could have missed 6 trips through 13 different countries, influence and friendship with leaders in Vietnam, Malaysia, and China, thousands of decisions for Jesus Christ, and discipling a fantastic group of youth here at home.  That’s a lot of future to lose over one bad decision… and not just my future was at stake. As Thomas Merton put it “No man is an island.”

The conclusion, then, is that crisis and pain (whether it be the pain of separation, emotional or physical distress, etc.) is inevitable.  I met a man last week named Dave Roever who lost most of his face to a phosphorous grenade in the Vietnam War.  He said, “Read what’s left of my lips; everyone gets hurt. It’s all about what you do with it.”  For a Christian who accepts Jesus’ death and resurrection, death has no power. We live for something beyond it. If death has no sting, should disaster?

Even in hard times God’s plan is “to prosper” us not harm us, “to give [us] hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).  The Fountain of Youth springs from that hope; use it to keep your perspective clean and everything will look brighter and better.  Time, according to this verse and others, is just a puppy dog, not a pit bull.  Our key to taming it (or rather to tame our perception of it) is an attitude of continual faithfulness and hope.  Remember this and, like a child playing in the backyard, losing track of the hours, we can enjoy the moments we’re given today without feeling fearful of what’s coming tomorrow.

Posted in Life Philosophy, Renewed Thinking, Travel Journal | 1 Comment

Homosexuality & Aggressive Love

Posted on March 2, 2011 by Brittany

Have you ever said something with total assurance that the other person would agree only to find that they’re violently opposed to your point of view? I used to write for my city and school newspapers and was determined back then as I am now to fight for critical thinking and innocence, much to everyone else’s frustration.  There were a lot of ruffled feathers and quite a few sticks and stones thrown my way…mostly from my Christian school peers, not the city crowd.  Granted, I did say more in my student paper to provoke thoughtful discussion. I mistakenly assumed that everyone there believed as I did and, therefore, I wrote very pointed commentaries. What is it the Bible says about “speaking the Truth in love?” Sometimes we try but aren’t always successful at this.

I found that bringing up God’s position on homosexuality gets you an email inbox full of “where’s the love?” No article inspired more controversy than an editorial piece on Bearing Fruit Films’ casting of homosexual advocate Chad Allen as Christian martyr Nate Saint in The End of the Spear. This was what it said:

In the last edition of Cedars, a rave review about the movie The End of the Spear was published.  The End of the Spear was well-done and very poignantly depicted an amazing story of the power and grace of God.  There is, however, one element of this picture that disturbed me deeply.

During a year when Hollywood and the movie industry is heavily promoting, even honoring, the gay agenda with movies like Brokeback Mountain, Christians should be the first to stand against the tide of liberal propagation.  However, in an openly “Christian” movie, created by a “Christian” film company the roles of the martyr Nate Saint and his son, Steve, have been played by Chad Allen, an openly homosexual Hollywood actor that has been fully engaged in the gay rights movement.

In an article titled, “Openly Gay Actor Chad Allen Plays Straight for Pay in End of the Spear,” written by Joey Guerra for Elton John’s website, Allen said, “there was a lot of friction” surrounding his taking the role.  When first presented with the role, Allen asked directly, “Do they know who I am?”  Conservative Christians were outraged by Allen’s portrayal of a Christian martyr.  Online discussion boards on World Net Daily and Worldviews are ablaze with fiery feedback to the film’s gay star.  A blogger on Worldviews said, “Having Chad Allen play Nate Saint?  Next we’ll have Marilyn Manson playing Jesus!”  Still another said, “The hypocrisy is sickening.  With the standards being set on these threads, the way is being paved for lots of lousy Christian films.”

The controversy, however, has not fazed Allen.  He said he believes that the God Steve Saint prays to is the same God he prays to, and that “if God didn’t want him to be there, (he) wouldn’t be there.”  Jim Hanon from Bearing Fruit Filmmakers, the writer and director of the film, as a response to a personal inquiry said, “We cast Chad Allen because he had the best audition of anyone else by far.  We know that the character in the film and the actor are not the same… the story is the star.”

Allen, who also played Matthew on Dr Quinn, is lauded by the DQ Times online for his involvement in The End of the Spear as well as his involvement in the film Third Man Out, the first of six gay detective movies premiering on here! Television Network.  In an interview posted on the DQ Times, Allen describes his thrill and excitement to finally do a love scene with another man.  “It’s a fantastic relationship, and we haven’t had the opportunity to have that many great, romantic, intense, committed gay relationships represented.”

Allen is an activist for the gay cause with an agenda to see the homosexual lifestyle accepted and promoted in America.  By their own admission, one goal of the homosexual movement is to degrade and undermine the institution of marriage and family because it sets up a standard different from their own.  If homosexuality is condoned by the Christian movie industry, in addition to its heavy promotion in Hollywood, the desensitization of America would be complete.  If good men do not stand up for what is right, evil will prevail.  How could Bearing Fruit allow a gay activist to play Godly men… not to mention a martyr for the cause of Christ?!!  Allen is the antithesis to everything Nate Saint died to accomplish.  Are we as Christians so jaded and apathetic that this no longer bothers us?

Bearing Fruit failed to take a stand when they were faced with Allen’s lifestyle.  This does not mean that we should boycott the film; it will always be appropriate for Christians to support movies that hold up Godly values in entertainment.  However, it is important for Christians to be aware of how we are being portrayed.  Ignorance and passivism in the Christian community has become a disease that will not only make us impotent but will destroy the Church.  Tolerance has become synonymous with compromise.  We have to understand the world in which we live and stand against the Godless, liberal agendas being shoved down our throats.

I had hoped that, after reading this article, students, faculty, and alumni would catch an urgency to hold Christian companies accountable to a standard consistent with what the Bible says… especially when we are constantly being argued into accepting more and more twisted behaviors in the name of ‘Christian love.’

One reader wrote this response: “In 1 Peter 1:15, the Apostle Paul writes, “This is a trustworthy saying which deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came to save sinners, of whom I am the worst.” Perhaps if we remembered this, perhaps if we concerned ourselves with removing sin that feeds on our own lives, we would more readily reach out arms of love to people like Chad Allen, sinner that he is.”

I asked this reader if an application of 1 Timothy 1:7-11, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, & Romans 1:24-32 shows more love than what I like to call the ‘whatever approach’ (apathy). If you’ve ever had an anything-goes authority in your life, you know this is the opposite of care and love.

Another reader said: “Your most recent article wasn’t exactly the only bad article you’ve written, but I guess it just annoyed me more than usual. Or maybe I was having a bad day…. I hope you realize that a real newspaper wouldn’t even publish your articles… See, there’s a little thing called “intellect” that is required to address topics like you attempt to do. Unfortunately,  most Christian writers seem to be missing it…       So, basically, you’re “deeply concerned” that Chad Allen, an openly gay actor, is playing a role in a Christian movie (even playing the role of a missionary martyr! gasp!). So, uh, are you saying that homosexuals can’t be Christians? Or that Christians shouldn’t take on a movie as “their own” when they feature people in it that are living in sin? Well, if that’s true, then Christians really don’t have any business being in the entertainment industry at all. Do you think that Passion of the Christ was produced in a Christian-compatible atmosphere? I mean, I don’t even know why I’m taking the time to write this….your article is so ridiculously simplisitic and paranoid that it seems such a waste of time…”

In addition to the fact that I couldn’t help smiling because someone was almost as hard on my writing as I am, I decided there was a lot I needed to learn about “speaking the truth in love.”
#1) I realized that arguing accomplishes nothing of value; when the other person or people start throwing sticks and stones, they’ve stopped listening. Discussing anything further is counter-productive.

#2) If I don’t thoroughly know and understand the words I’m supposedly standing on, there are plenty of people who will pull scripture out of context and tie it around my neck like a noose at a lynching (the message of Truth isn’t going to change but our wielding of it without understanding it could be lethal to us).

And the most important one: #3) Fighting to protect innocence and high standards of purity (even in business, entertainment, etc.) is NOT popular -even among those who claim to be “Christians.”

The love of Jesus Christ isn’t passive; it’s passionate. Whether we understand and practice love properly, it is what it is.  Keeping people happy is good PR but it doesn’t mean that you’re a loving Christian. “Loving your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14) means making tough choices. It means repeatedly confronting your school’s administration for allowing a teacher to promote sexually explicit reading material in a class where 1 out of 5 students have been pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease.  It means setting and enforcing boundaries so your children don’t go running into the path of an oncoming car. It means standing between a drunk friend and his 10-minute drive home by himself even if he’s screaming obscenities at you. It means holding a company accountable for irresponsibly employing those intent on destroying the family values that company claims to support.  It’s not easy to do any of these things but true love will never be easy.

Like the main character from the film Raising Helen when her recently adopted teenager screamed “I hate you,” aggressive love and its associated standards require that we “learn to live with that” and aggressively protect those we love even if it’s not cool with them or anyone else. As Jesus said, “Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Mark 13:13

Posted in Renewed Thinking | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Relationtrips: Reading the Signs

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Brittany

“Relationships are everything…” This was a mantra repeated continually by the teacher-characters on my little brother’s favorite preschool computer game growing up. It’s funny; it was so seemingly out-of-place in the kooky, little alien-world program. But it’s true that relationships really matter. I’m glad this message was one of many lessons my brother picked up early in his life. Fortunately, like anything else that’s truly important, we have choices. We may not be able to pick our family but almost every other relationship comes about as a result of our decisions.

Let’s do something conceptually crazy and separate the people we know into two categories: relationships and relationtrips. Yes, this is really simplifying (and coming up with cheesy illustrations for) vast complexities we experience relationally -I don’t have a psychology Ph.D. but I’m working on a mastery of the obvious.  After some questions I got from a friend this week, I felt like a post might do a better job of concisely outlining primary issues and solutions I often see in my own life as well as others. So for discussion and clarity-sake, with you’re permission, I’d like to try to boil down the basics and un-complicate common relationship concerns. Feel free to comment and add your thoughts. They’d be much appreciated.

Relationships versus Relationtrips

As Henry Ford once said, “My best friend brings out the best in me.” Good relationships take you someplace profitable.  If he or she doesn’t bring out the best in you, we’ve got another category to put this person in. It might not be as flattering to them but it’ll help us get our heads clear about relational priorities.

I love the word “trip,” don’t you? We’ve all used it often enough and done it often enough to have a thorough understanding of our own clumsiness as human beings.  There are two meanings – or rather, two and a half- according to Webster: the word trip means either a journey or a slip-up/mistake.  The other half-meaning combines the first two; it’s slang for a drug-induced experience.  All the meanings of this word help us get an idea of what we don’t want in an emotional, relational ride.

In case you’re beginning to get concerned that this post is about to present a consequentialist or an “ends justify the means” view of relationships, let me reassure you. A profound respect and deep love for the teachings of Jesus Christ have taught me that “utilitarians” who only see people as means to an end are not only likely to have the same treatment pushed on them but will endure a lonely existence devoid of any rewarding relationships. An innocent approach is the goal. This requires pure motives, whether we have them already or make a conscious effort to employ them.  We are told to be “wise as serpents but harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)

Although they’re not all ridiculously awful, there is something to be said about avoiding relationtrips.  Without having a utilitarian view of people and their feelings, there are some associations that clearly go nowhere, accomplish nothing, and are generally unprofitable for one or both people. While my life’s motto is “It’s never wrong to give,” we’ve got to be aware that a bleeding heart can unconsciously let a leech suck their life’s blood dry.  And we’re all about making the most of abundant LIFE so we’ve got choices to make.

Not all relationships are equal – much as we wish they might be. We’ve all had unforeseen fumbles in an unfamiliar field that gave us scraped up knees and elbows or left us feeling like we’d just been tackled by an invisible linebacker. The best we can do is identify the pitfalls as early as possible and rise above them as quickly as we can.

How do we identify relationships versus relationtrips?  Asking questions helps.  Knowing how to get the answers we’re looking for – reading the signs. What does this person do, think, and value? Does he/she make me better?  If the response is ever “they make me worse” or “they leave me confused and disoriented” we can praise God the trip is so obvious and scramble out of the hole. As George Washington said, “Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.”

Does the person I’m hanging out with ask about me, my feelings and values, and then really listen and care about the response? If someone loves me, they’ll want to know what’s in my head and heart – my values, my hopeful destinations in life. When they’re running me over in conversation, even if they’re telling me about something truly painful, their motivation is purely self-centered. Listening to the sordid details, even to appease a victim, doesn’t help anyone. If you’re like me and have “tell me everything” somehow written across your forehead, you know how hard this can be. Chances are, whether the person is conscious of it or not, they’re using the situation and their relationship with you or me to insulate them from facing their own issues and insecurities.  Getting between a person in-conflict with him or herself is asking for drama.

Am I being given a chance to breathe and grow? If I’m getting 20 to 200 texts and one or two phone calls a day when I’m not hanging out with a person, they are sucking my life away because (and I don’t usually like this expression but…) THEIR LIFE “SUCKS” – e.g. they’re desperately needy.  A true friendship feeds life like fertilizer feeds a garden. You’re both going to grow from loving communication – not neediness.

What does the other person value? This is an important cog in the workings of every enduring friendship. Chances are if we don’t have the same values, one or the other of us is going to be an influencer.  As a rule, with peers, it’s always better not to assume it’s going to be you and move to a safe distance. If I want to be the one doing the influencing, it helps if I’m the more physically and spiritually mature and if I’m the one in control of what activities we do together, what we talk about, and how much time we spend.  If I find, after an extended period of time, that no positive impact and change in direction is being made, it’s okay to leave the lines open but still keep some distance. That is… if I still want this person in the relationship category and not the trip category.

I’m aware that the signs aren’t always fool-proof. Just like driving, there’s a lot of discernment involved in navigating but the fun in functional relationships ultimately depends on us. Knowing what questions to ask and how to prioritize our time helps maintain a balanced life. Without it, we’re just riding the trippin’ relational rollercoasters with everyone else, going nowhere. High school and college can be the most difficult times to put these principles into practice because we see certain people daily and can’t always be in perfect control of who we see when. The key to consider is “bad company corrupts good character” – be aware of who’s impacting us (I Corinthians 15:33).  Or as Switchfoot’s lyrics so perfectly put it, “This is your life, are you who you want to be?”  It’s all about our choices.

Balance aligns every decision when a relationship with Jesus Christ comes first. We need him. We’re pretty fuzzy when it come to reading signs and navigating relationtrips – why not ask the guy who’s walked around the potholes already to give us a hand?  He’s had “friends” who hung out with him for years that cheated him, didn’t believe him, pretended not to know him, gave him up to murdering thugs for money, etc. We’ve all been hurt but it’s what we do with the pain that makes us better or worse for the future.

Bottom line, we can expect to trip up every now and then. But knowing how to ask the right questions, staying alert, and keeping focused on positive, LIFE goals will give us the edge to stay upright. Because falling hurts…  put Jesus “at your right hand and you won’t be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

Posted in Questions, Renewed Thinking | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment