Recital’s tonight and I’m somewhere else.  I cleaned my black dress, picked out the perfect jewelry, and went to rehearse at the hall where the recital is going to be held.  I’ve gone through all the motions and emotions necessary to prepare for this event but my head is who-knows-where.  And that isn’t all that’s gone AWOL; while I was trying to rehearse yesterday I found that my leg took on a life of it’s own.  It was bouncing against the sustain pedal as if it belonged to someone else and was only just attached to me.

My leg: “yeah… I don’t really know her… I’m just, you know, bored… hanging out.”

One could say it’s nerves but then I sing in front of thousands of people!  I used to comfortably play the familiar grand piano on the stage of the campus chapel to thousands of college students with my band just a few years ago.  There’s no logical reason for the disconnect today.

Maybe it has to do with the kind of music.  I love classical music and some of the moody, dramatic performance pieces I get to play but the energy isn’t the same. There’s no place to put all the force of your feelings except into your fingertips. If only there was a way to combine the old composers and heavy metal on the piano.  Without a band, I don’t think that’ll fly but I can dream.

I made a discovery. This girl embodies the musical attitude I love. Her name is Orianthi.  If any 24 year old could even deign to touch the hem of Santana’s poncho, she would.  Her guitar solo in this video gives me chills.

I will always appreciate the piano for its strong, stable foundation but alas, I may always be in-love with a less predictable, more overpowering instrument.